Kutta “Yahi” kaa..

Well this blog is neither about the cutie pie Pomeranian of your neighborhood nor about the lovable fat lab of your GFs..not even about vodafone fame pug…it is specifically written picturising the typical Indian Street Dog..now if u are thinking y only Indian..thn its bcoz I don’t know how does a street dog outside india looks lyk ..I hv neva been to abroad…not even to Nepal… am bloody ashamed to carry my passport as a identity proof..thts d only reason y I hv not applied for LPG in baroda…mom dad been to Europe..di went to south east..all my fellow colleagues have been to abroad on company’s account.. even technicians have been to Germany…it was only me n the guy selling tea outside our company gate who were the only unfortunate ones till yesterday…when he told tht he got a Visa for Dubai..Bloody I felt soooo jealous..i stopped having tea in the evening..God knows when I am gonna get that break L …till thn I’ll keep hooting for Indian values, culture, tradition, and all that crap..

Back to the common “Indian street dog”…firstly how do u identify whether the dog infront of u is a street dog or is he of a genuine breed… there are some easy checks for that..

–          If u see his abdomen line between front n rear legs…it must be smooth parabola with two fixed points &varying radius from chest to lower abdomen… confused?? Well in simple words it’s a shape of hour glass sliced in two pieces…sumwhat lyk ths “ ~ ”

–          His spinal line is typically straight till their waist n then smoothly merges into abdominal curve.

–          The tail is not more than half of their length & usually curved irrespective of its length.

–          Jaws are firm & solid. Unlike cats, teeth structure is typically of wolf family.

Hmmmm… still confused??…it seems u r not very familiar with Animal planet..ok..i’ll elaborate a bit more in “India Tv” style..

–          He stands on his front two legs with his ass resting on ground n scratches a area behind is ear with one of his rear leg.

–          OR He stands on all four legs scratching near ass with his teeth.(yea yea..half of the day spend in scratching own ass..n the other half in barking)

–          While standing rest all the times, he barks.

–          He never barks when he is alone. If at all he does, it must be for asking rescue.

–          9 out of 10 times that he barks, he barks on fellow street dogs. Rest 1 time he barks on the person who steps on his tail. Until and unless hurt, he never ever barks on humans. If u have encountered any contrasting situation, then the dog must have misunderstood u with his fellow street dogs. Usually it happens when u skip a bath for couple of weeks & stink similar.

–           He is always multicolored, keeping his mother guessing for the real responsible father.

–          If u find them in couple, then they must be busy doing what other animals do in private. I think after Paris Hilton, dogs are the only shameless animals who enjoy publicizing their private moments.

–          If u find them in a group of three, then 2 must be smelling the ass of the third one.

–          Barking is the only thing to do when they are into larger group.

–          Spike from Tom & jerry is the only dog who barks on cat. I have not seen any street dog barking on a cat.

–          Even a female dog pee in a same fashion as that of male.(i.e.  by raising one of the rear leg) Hey wait…but that true for all the animals. Only in humans, females get fresh whereas males pee (although biologically they do the same thing)

–          If you see a dog while driving/riding, remember, they have a strong tendency of getting in ur way. Irrespective of whether u change ur direction, dogs have liking of getting killed by a vehicle. U turn left, n he will also turn left. U go right, n he will also take a right. No matter what u do, u just cant beat him.  In such situation, never change ur direction. Just head straight to him. The probability of having him in the same position would be least as compared to others.

–          If u talk about any national highway in india, everyday on an average a dog meets with a accident after every 4 km stretch. In every such accident 9 out of 10 times a dog is killed. Rest 1 time, the poor rider goes through a tough time. Thanks to dogs’ never ending skill of making love, their population remains the same.

–          However, it is just a myth that dogs who chase cars, do it because similar car rushed on his lady. Be it dogs or humans, no male can celebrate that long.

–          Dogs never bark on girls. Specially the good looking ones. (huh?? No Idiot…gud looking is adjective for a gal..not for a  dog)

–          All street dogs are vegetarian.. dont make a mistake of offering them eggs or chicken. And if u happen to feed them with pedigree, they will look as confused as person having seen “Raavan” in a theater.

–          Never curse dogs for barking in the night. They are doing what u and me do in the nite. They also socialize. Only difference is, we do it on facebook. Well u’ll all agree the comments on face book from frnds..frnd’s  frnds, the requests for farmvile, the invitations for finding perfect match, all are equally annoying as that of dogs barking in the nite.

–           Street Dogs are very expressive. They are extremely camera friendly..Mani ratnam has made a 4 hour long movie on a dog as a male lead.. I saw that on animal planet… surprisingly a week later it was released in theaters as “Raavan”… but unfortunately film critics misunderstood him with abhishek bacchan. Needless to say that the movie doomed.

Well these are some of the typical characteristics of a Indian street dog..after this I hope, an ordinary street dog will bring a smile to ur face.

PS: – Dogs, now a days, have forgotten their age old rivalry with dharmendra. They now have abhishek bacchan in bollywood to be more unhappy with.i am glad that dogs dnt access wordpress..else they would sue me for comparing abhishek bacchan wid them.

4 Responses to “Kutta “Yahi” kaa..”

  1. queenofmars Says:

    whoa!!! whatte come back!!! totally ripped apart my senses… i mean.. u cm up wid a dog’s excuse.. wow.. heheh… but y does the noise inside me feels that this ws for a specific dog!!! 😛 anyone on the hitlist akki!!! 😉

    • bornsukhi Says:

      heena u hv no clue how bad driving conditions are in baroda…ek toh its simply impossible to find the road in those pot holes after monsoon..if at all u find any, these dogs dnt let u speed above 40..i wd prefer andheri traffic over baroda anytime… my poor bike must be cursing me for bringing her to such a pathetic place on earth 😛 😛

  2. Arshat Chaudhary Says:

    hahaha… funny.. long time salya..

  3. Aparna Says:

    trully say, i didnt like wasting ur talents on such stupid dogs.. there are many more b’ful and interesting things in the world to draw ur attention towards.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: