mumbai meri jaan..

Mumbai has become more lyk a weekend getaway for me… the number of weekends i have spent in baroda over past three years are less than MS Dhoni’s memorable innings as a Captain. But every visit to mumbai leaves me with surprise.

talking about surprises, yesterday i saw a college kid getting up in the local train at andheri…wearing couple of bangles in the leg…yess..u heard me right..in the leg…not both but in 1 leg…there were 3-4 black plastic bangles stuck over his left ankle.. i was soo shocked that I had to catch the handle above… wondering from where did he entered those bangles I started observing this strange looking creature..soon i realized, bangle was not the only abnormal thing on this chap…he ws wearing slippers of two different pairs…he ws busy scratching his touch phone lyk most of the youth do now a days…headphone hidden in his curly unkempt hair..i don’t remember myself staring any male object for that long but this kid was amazing… with that parrot green t shirt of twice his size, and self weight of little over 30 kgs, he reminded me of a Cream Onion Lays packet which has less chips n more air…he had a mineral water bottle in the other hand..although he had some similarities with some of the rock crazy friends of mine, the shock intensified when I realized that the guitar looking thing on his back was infact an engineering drafter…I remembered my engineering days.. n my grip got tightened on the handle… Anyways… this character was not the only thing which surprise me in Mumbai…

• Rickshaws are ridding with side ways meter. They same old rickshaw is sooo difficult to identify with the half turned meter. The salman-rani mukherji’s poster and the arrogant stinky Bhaiya inside  rickshaw still maintains the originality.
• People queued infront of ticket window, no more curse the guy cutting the line heading for CVM coupons. As far as I remember, this honor was awarded for the chicks wearing low waist denims n sun glasses in my Mumbai days.
• As most of the people socialize on FB, the usual hang outs adda’s now look lyk couple points. I remember Hiren travelling half the Mumbai to watch a movie with his GF to avoid attention of fellow classmates.
• Cricket and parsis have 1 thing in common. They both are going to extinct soon. No kid wants to play cricket. Our so called religion is facing a real tough time with increasing craze of futbol. Unlike cricket, in this latin American game were passing the ball is more tricky than hitting it out in the stands.
• Mechanical engineers in Mumbai have started drinking coffee. Height of civilization.
• Vadapav wala’s are actually keeping Imli ki chatni. Height of gujaratization.
• A friendly female voice announce the next station inside local. Not once but 6 times. I wonder what made them add such feature in Mumbai locals. There was never a need to know “Kaunsa Station aayega?’, but the real question faced by local commuters is “Konse side aayega”. Any ways, the announcing lady doesn’t help on that.
• Some theaters actually sold few tickets of movie ‘Agent Vinod’.
• Skoda cars are found more on the Car Re-sale Mela than on road. BMWs and AUDIs count more in numbers than Indicas.
• Recruitment adds for MBAs are even found inside local trains next to BABA BANGALI’s clinic’s poster, giving salary assurance of 15000 per month.
• Pretty round pillars come up at strange places, right in the middle of crowded road. Their count keeps growing every week. Reminds me of mashrooms in the rains. Some say there is Mono rail project going on. As a byker wht adds to my worries is the bhaiyas splitting of from 30 feet coloring riders.
• I don’t find any weighing machines on the platforms anymore. Either the machines are removed Or at least those decorative hypnotic circles revolving inside the machines are replaced.
• Medical store has more varieties n flavors of Condoms than a Gola wala’s on juhu chowpati.
• Shivneri has started using Mercedes Buses.
• BEST conductors look highly equipped with the ticket printing machine in hand. Buses have screens inside advertizing NIIT & St. Angelo’s computer courses entertaining passengers. Jealous of the blessed conductors and the fellow passengers, the angry driver who still steers the three feet wide wheel has got on a killing spree.

In this dynamically changing city of islands, what keeps the originality of the city is the paralyzed infrastructure, deprived heath of the roads, blossoming slums on the pavements and ever so dead acting BMC & MMRDA. All these make the strongest building blocks of the so called “SPIRIT OF MUMBAI”. This spirit is what forces u to enjoy travelling in those crowed buses enjoying the rains…risking ur lyf while latkofying on the local door…fighting wid the rickshawala’s over change …riding bike dodging the potholes and avoiding water splashes at the same tym.. half an search to find a nice parking space just to find out later the big dash on ur right tail lamp…waiting in the long Queues for bus, rickshaws, ticket windows, ATMs, Petrol pump, Pay  parking, toll nakas, Restaurants, even on the security check of the malls…..

Wow..Man, I would give anything to come back to my favorite Mumbai lyf.